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			<h1 id="section_0">"Call me if you want a good time"</h1><ul id="page-actions" class="hlist"><li id="ca-edit" class="icon icon-32px icon-edit" title="Edit the lead section of this page."></li><li id="ca-talk" class="hidden icon icon-32px icon-talk"><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=Talk:%22Call_me_if_you_want_a_good_time%22&amp;action=edit&amp;redlink=1" title="Discussion about the content page [t]" accesskey="t">Discussion</a></li><li id="ca-watch" class="watch-this-article icon icon-32px"><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=Special:UserLogin&amp;returnto=%22Call+me+if+you+want+a+good+time%22" title="Add this page to your watchlist [w]" accesskey="w"></a></li></ul>		</div>
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<td><b>Writefag</b>
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<td>Wintergale
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<td><b>Pastebin link</b>:
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<td><b>Pastebin creation</b>
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<td>Saturday 20th of February 2016 02:17:30 AM CDT
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<td>Saturday 20th of February 2016 02:17:30 AM CDT
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</div><h3><span class="mw-headline" id=".22Call_me_if_you_want_a_good_time.22">"Call me if you want a good time"</span><a href="&quot;Call_me_if_you_want_a_good_time&quot;#/editor/1" title="Edit section: &quot;Call me if you want a good time&quot;" data-section="1" class="edit-page icon icon-32px icon-edit enabled">Edit</a></h3><div>
<div dir="ltr" class="mw-geshi mw-code mw-content-ltr"><div class="gettext source-gettext">&#160;<br />&#160;<span class="co4">&gt;As Shining Armour entered the lavatories of his... their royal quarters, he was struck by the unshakable sensation that something had changed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Something in there was new, though he just couldn't seem to be able to pinpoint it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Had his wife finally followed through with her threats, and removed his beloved scented candles?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A quick and alarmed whiff of air soon silenced his fears, as the familiar smell of something cheap and vaguely fruity still lingered in the air.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But if it wasn't that, what could it be?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Could she have replaced the towels?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Was there perhaps something about the lighting that has changed?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Or perhaps it was the bold letters painted across one of the walls, in a shade of green he involuntarily recognized as moderate harlequin.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;One day he would forgive his parents for sending him to mandatory art lessons, but that day was nowhere close.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Upon closer contemplation, Shining Armour decided that of all the possible anomalies in the room, the writing on the wall was probably the most likely to be the one bothering him.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He moved over a few paces so that he could better read it.</span><br />&quot;Call me if you want a good time.&quot;<br />&quot;Two-four-two-six-four-three-five-four-six-four.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;This puzzled the Prince.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Normally, his wife left him little notes in case there was something she needed to convey and there wasn't any opportunity to do it in person. Shining had always found that a reasonable way to communicate.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So, truth be told, he honestly found this to be kind of excessive. He made a mental note to ask to ask Cadence, the next time they met, to stop drawing on the walls.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unfortunately, that might be a while, as Cadence was spending the weekend with Twilight doing... doing whatever his wife and his sister did when when they got together. He just hoped his wife wouldn't spend the weekend drawing on the walls of his sister's castle too.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Except, maybe it wasn't Cadence?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She had, after all, left the Empire on Friday morning, and today was Saturday.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And Shining felt pretty sure that this hadn't been here yesterday evening.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ergo, it probably couldn't have been his wife. He was pretty sure that alicornhood did not make you able to scribble on bathroom walls over long distances. Even if the power of love was somehow involved.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Either way, the Prince had the weekend (and the Empire, but that was of lesser concern) to himself, and he honestly couldn't think about anything better to spend his time on than to solve the mystery of the lavatory letter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Shining Armour had always preferred a &quot;hooves off&quot; approach to his rule of the Empire, especially as it wasn't really his Empire in the first place. It was his wife's. So he tried his hardest not to break anything while she was away, or at the very least shift the blame over to someone else.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But this day wasn't about rule and reign, it was about mysteries. He would, he figured, just have to call the number.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What's the worst that could happen? That he had &quot;a good time&quot;? That sounded wonderful!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;At earliest opportunity, he retreated to his personal chambers, produced a phone, and dialled the number.</span><br />&quot;Two-four-two-six-four-three-five-four-six-four.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;As the call was established, the Prince sat on his bed, shaking ever so slightly with excitement.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He felt like the protagonist of a crime novel, a hardboiled private detective, about to call a viscous gangster... �or a murderer... �or a pirate. Or a combination of any of the aforementioned, as he guessed the various roles could overlap.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Though honestly, he hoped it wasn't a murderpirateganster on the other end of the line. That might be too much, even for the most hardboiled of royal gumhorseshoes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It was unlikely too, as one of that ilk presumably wouldn't want him to have &quot;A good time&quot;, whatever that meant.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Suddenly, the call went through, and Shining froze as with military rigour.</span><br />&quot;Hello?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;For the last time, stop calling me! This is a private number. If you really need to call a fucking dentist, at least get the number right! Mine ends with a four, the dentist's with a five! Is that so fucking hard, you inbred imbeciles!?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Had Shining Armour been a Crystal Pony, he might have taken offence at that. When you're a isolated city state to the far north, there's a limit as to how genetically diverse your potential breeding partners can be. Plus sometimes you can't help it if you have a really hot cousin. Or sibling.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But since the Prince wasn't a Crystal Pony, he just ruled over them, he concentrated on the voice instead.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The voice on the other end of the line was agitated, yet unmistakeably feminine. Though he couldn't quite place it, it has some distinct, familiar quality to it. In fact, it sounded almost like his wife.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Though, he felt absolutely sure that whoever that angry mare, who by the way had failed to give him &quot;a good time&quot; yet, was, she sure as fuck wasn't his wife. Cadence didn't swear.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She never did. She couldn't. It was medicinally impossible for her to do so. The fact had astonished the best of both doctors and psychologists, none of which Cadence had been especially glad to have invited into her household by her well-meaning husband.</span><br />&quot;I don't need a dentist. My teeth are just fine.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Then why are you calling?&quot;</span><br />&quot;I want a good time.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, fuck, right...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The line went silent for a moment, before the feminine voice returned. This time it was calm and alluring. Almost seductive.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hi, handsome.&quot;</span><br />&quot;That's what my wife says too.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm sure she does. But, let's not talk about your wife for a moment. She's away, isn't she? You're all on your own in that big, empty castle?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Actually, there's like a thousand ponies working on on the castle complex. This place is huge.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;The mare on the other side went into another brief silence.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;But your wife is gone, right?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yup.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;And so you called me, looking for a good time. How sweet. Luckily for you, I'm alone too. Why don't I come over, and we'll show each other a good time?&quot;</span><br />&quot;That sounds fun.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Quickly, Shining started to take stock of all the fun things he could do with this well-meaning stranger. He had alcohol, board games and a pretty killer terrarium. He was also something of a prodigy at Ludo.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This was going to be a good day, he was sure of it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, but I just recalled. I'm such a shy, shy mare. I can't possibly come visit when there's so many guards around you and your... firm spire.&quot;</span><br />&quot;That's alright, I can dismiss the guys for the day. It's not like anything ever happens around here anyway.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Shining knew well from his own time in Celestia's service that most of the time, guard duty was all about standing really quiet and trying to forget that there were still several boring hours left of you shift.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, thank you so much, my Prince. You're nothing if not considerate. If you have any appointments, cancel them. Once I get going, I'm going to keep you busy all day. And all night too, if you're still able to stand upright.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The voice snickered to herself, and Shining joined with his own laugher. Though truth be told, he wasn't absolutely sure just what it was that was so funny. But that had never stopped him before, and it wasn't going to stop him now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You better be ready in about an hour, big boy. Once I get wet, there's no stopping me.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Are we going to have a good time then?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It will be the best time you've ever had. It might even be the best time you'll ever have.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She hang up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For a minute or two, the Prince just sat there. Was he ready for such a good time? The prospect of having the best time of one's life while so young was almost a bit frightening. Didn't it mean that everything that followed would just be a disappointment compared to today?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But as he often did when things got difficult, Shining decided instead to not think about it, and just do as the mysterious voices (though this time it was singular, and external) had asked of him.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Come to think of it, he hadn't even asked her what her name was. Or why she wanted him to have such a good time. But perhaps it was a surprise? He sure hoped that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He loved surprises. And in a way, wasn't strangers by definition always unknown, and therefore surprises? It seemed reasonable to him.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The hour passed faster than expected.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Despite objections from the head of staff, he went a step further and dismissed everyone. Absolutely everyone in the entire castle complex. Even the ones that lived there. It was better to be on the safe side, in case his guest was really, really shy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What time was left before her arrival was spent hauling stuff he liked to his quarters, and regretting not having done this before he dismissed the staff.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The voice hadn't been quite clear on what kind of good time they were going to have, so he decided to prepare for everything.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He was in the middle of picking the least foul smelling novelty scented candle when he heard his visitor approaching.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The humble sounds of a single set of hooves upon the crystalline floor was unmistakable. Her step was light, and though he had his back turned to the doorway, he was convinced that the sound couldn't come from anything but the petite and feminine.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He spun around, eager to see this bringer of good times, but froze once he saw... black.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Tall.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Changeling.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Queen.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hello, Shining. It's been a while.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He tried to speak, he truly did, but all sound died before it left his throat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Chrysalis.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;While he struggled, she seized the initiative, passing through the doorway into his chambers.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She was... the Prince didn't quite know what to call her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He would have said sleek, had the smoothness of her chitin not been broken by the numerous holes that permeated her body.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He would have said lithe, had she not been tall enough to dwarf even a large stallion like him.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He would have said beautiful, had it not been that he was married. And terrified.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But whatever she was, she was heading towards him. Shining managed to shake off the silence.</span><br />&quot;B-back off!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;My dear Prince, it is rude to talk to your visitors like that. Especially when you just invited them over.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Shining's brain almost overloaded as a number of vital connections were being made at record pace. Connections that he now realized, he should probably have made at an earlier point of this misadventure.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But he couldn't undo what he had done, and now he had to face the fact that he was facing down an old enemy, who had almost been his wife, alone in a huge castle. There were no guards, no Twilight, no Celestia. No Cadence. Just him. And her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He tried to back away from her, but he tripped over a box of Marepoly (the family game about capitalism and polygamy), and tumbled down onto the floor.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh come on, Shining, don't panic. We're just going to have a good time, like we did in the past.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She was next to him now, but still moving.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Though the situation called for action, or at the very least dread, he couldn't help but think of the times Chrysalis spoke about.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Times before the wedding, when she had pretended to be Cadence. The things they had done together, and to each other.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her left forehoof was placed right next to him, and the right soon followed. She was standing over him now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He head bowed down, her face growing close to his.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Though the exact feeling was impossible to describe, he could sense her presence.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Have you told your wife about the things we've done, Shining?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He hadn't.</span><br />&quot;What... what do you want?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You. I want to give you a good time. Just for old time's sake.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I don't believe you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Don't be so mistrustful. I don't want to do anything nefarious, I just want to do again what we haven't done for ages. You remember our... favourite activity, don't you?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He did.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And although his mind was a swirl of memories, terror, and thoughts of his wife, he couldn't help but feel... a certain kind of excitement. It grew, as he thought about the things Chrysalis spoke about, and he couldn't resist. A stiffness, and an inability to act, came upon the Prince.</span><br />&quot;But why, why do you want to do this to me?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She laughed, and he couldn't help but recall the wedding again. It brought him back, reminded him of the moment of her arrogance, just before he had seen her defeat. That outcome seemed faint now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Don't be so full of yourself. Don't you think there's a possibility to I too might miss the things we did? Or that I want to relive them.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He was speechless, but she lowered her voice for another strike. It was almost a whisper.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;This is for both of us.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The details of her face were now clearer than they had ever been. The vivid, almost outrageously green eyes. Her serpentine tongue, and predator fang. The long, dark cerulean mane that framed it all.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Why don't you slip into something more comfortable?&quot;</span><br />&quot;But I'm not wearing anything.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Then put on your best swimwear.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Why?&quot;<br />&quot;Because we're going to the waterpark!&quot;<br />&#160;<br />And then they had a good time.</div></div>




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